SO - you have a BIG dream?? You want to start a successful business, move across the globe, lose 100 pounds?
Well, it's simple really. I mean there are only three steps:
1) Believe (yup, against ALL those crazy odds) that your dream is possible.
2) Stay absolutely positively 100% committed to making your dream come true. No matter what. Always.
3) When times get rough, refer to steps 1 & 2! Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Yeah, of course there's a lot more to it. But I promise you, the decision to commit to your dream is the most important one you will ever make. It's also, believe it or not, the most challenging one too!
Because when I say commit to it. I mean fucking marry it girl!! With no guarantees that it will last forever, or always treat you right, or financially support you at all times. With no promise that every day will feel as wonderful as the first. With the full understanding that you are deciding now to spend the rest of your life with this silly, messed up, unlikely, unshaven dream. The same dream your mother can't stand. Your friends think will never last. And even you yourself, have huge doubts and fears about at times. Ok, am I talking about my relationship now or my business? Must be my business though, because I love my man's beard. But NOT if it gets any longer. If it gets any longer, I'm OUT! 😂😂
But seriously. Marry that fucking dream. That's it. Be fully committed to it, even when it makes you want to pull your hair out, or feels like you've made a terrible mistake, or gets so rocky that you run off (alone) to a super-expensive yoga/meditation retreat 15 hours away to clear your head and decide whether you can even continue on. Be so committed that through all the good times and the bad, you always come back to the commitment eventually, with a renewed sense of passion, belief and determination. This is your silly, messed up dream, remember? You married it for a reason.
And IF you even contemplate getting divorced from your dream. Just don't. Talk yourself off that ledge. I mean, even if the bastard (I mean, the dream) loses his job (by getting a DUI... in his work truck...driving into a building and breaking his ankle in the process). You sit with that dream in the hospital, and go ahead... YELL. SCREAM. Shout obscenities. Tell your dream that you're done. You can't take it anymore. You're leaving. You've given up all faith at this point.
Say all these things. Hell, go ahead and fully believe all these things for a couple weeks or even months. Stew over it. I mean what the hell were you thinking marrying this dream anyway? You thought this would make you happy? You thought you'd find financial stability in this partnership? This will never be what you intended for it to be, right?
But .... eventually .... despite whatever disaster, challenge or fear has come in between you and the dream you've married. No matter how big. Find the strength within to get back to that commitment. I mean, this dream? It's worth it right, even when it's not easy? It means something to you? You're in love with it?
So now what? At every terrible and terrifying twist and turn on the road to reaching your dreams (which never ends, by the way .... not so far as I can tell), what do you do? Well I'll tell you, be thankful that you married a dream and not some damn alcoholic. Ok, ok - I really do gotta stop spilling my personal business here. I mean I still want your respect and everything!! 😲😲
All metaphors aside, committing to your dream is difficult as all get out. But if you commit. And re-commit after things get rocky. And continue to re-commit. No matter what the obstacle (physical, financial, emotional, etc). Then you really can't fail. And heck, maybe sometimes you will find yourself at a point where you need some serious help (counseling, coaching), or maybe it's time to make a serious change (re-branding, or re-visiting the terms of your dream). But adjust those sails, and keep sailing ahead (until the next big storm, of course). Yup, couldn't leave those metaphors alone long, could I?
Am I trying to scare you (away from your dreams, or my boyfriend)? NO! The truth is - life, relationships, making dreams happen: this shit is hard!!! It's messy. It's terrifying. It really feels impossible sometimes. And yes, sometimes it will appear that dreams come easy to other folks. But who knows their situation! They could be luckier, blessed with more resources to start with, more skilled/experienced (I mean, maybe they've been going at this for years already), or they could even just be lying or delusional themselves. But more likely, they could actually be having just as hard of a time as we are. But they keeep re-committing. Because they are married to that dream, dammit.
So that's it. That's all there is. You're in or you're out. There is no in between. In between is where pipe-dreams, hobbies and fantasies exist. Your commitment to making this 'thing' (whatever it is for you) a reality - is all up to you my gorgeous friend.
PS: No I'm not married to the alcoholic, but he has been sober for gosh 8 months or so now. And you know the real reason I didn't walk away? Because after yelling allll the things, I just thought damn! We've been through a ton already (four years of good, bad, ugly, sad ... on both ends). What if I walk away right before the miracle? What if I walk away right before he actually does figure his shit out? And I thought, if he makes it through this and to the other side, finally that man that I know he can be and that I deserve, I would rather have fought with him through it all then to have left him alone during one of the worst moments of his life. And you know what, I'd want him to do the same for me, and I believe he would.
This is pretty off topic, but then again, it's really not! Don't walk away from your dream before the miracle. Don't leave it alone to further destroy itself when you feel it's hit rock bottom. Re-commit. Re-commit. Re-commit. Re-Commit.
NAMASTE ladies, while I wipe the tears from my eyes. The tears that are here because I don't always know where my writing will take me when I begin (just like we don't know where our dreams can take us when we begin), and I certainly didn't think that writing a blog about committing to our dreams was going to remind me of just how much I love this crazy, messed up man I'm with. Babe if you are reading this, I am proud of you and I am glad that I didn't walk away. And I do appreciate you for supporting me and my other lover (I mean my dream, of course). And I know I don't say it nearly enough!